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Rule 3: If you ever need a reason to drink, remember that you’re alive and going to die.

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Rule 18: Being drunk is remembering who you are.

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Rule 26: The distance between “Impossible!” and “All we need is a free weekend and some kind of rocket motor” is eight drinks.

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Rule 40: Be aloof when sober and jovial when drunk and few will stand in the way of your boozing.

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Rule 41: Anyone on stage or behind a bar is 50% better looking.

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Rule 45: It’s okay to drink alone.

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Rule 64: Never trust a teetotaler.

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Rule 82: There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon.

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Rule 86: It’s not the last drink of the night, it’s the first drink of the rest of your life.