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Rule 51: If you don’t have a Plan B, add more booze to Plan A.

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Rule 64: Never trust a teetotaler.

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Rule 86: It’s not the last drink of the night, it’s the first drink of the rest of your life.

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Rule 63: Don’t blame the booze.

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Rule 3: If you ever need a reason to drink, remember that you’re alive and going to die.

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Rule 21: Better a good time you can’t remember than a dull one you can.

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Rule 16: If your hangover seems fun, you’re still drunk.

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Rule 33: The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

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Rule 35: Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it were all good times every jackass would be doing it.

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Rule 40: Be aloof when sober and jovial when drunk and few will stand in the way of your boozing.

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Rule 82: There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon.